When in the end we will lose everything and move on to another world
then why do we care to hold on to something, why does the existence of ours scream of belonging
and pains when longing goes away there is a part of soul which i lost in the last one year
there is emptiness sometime elopes my heart i just dont know who the hell i am
it is like a few relationships forged at birth are like your identity the identity going away
just hurts i know i am some evolved today but it still hurts no matter how much i try to forget and move on
why does it hurt so much when i think about it, why does it pain to not go back home
will there be a hug ever again from parent in the bed i grew up, will there be my stupid games played
on my study table ever gonna be back, where will those long night go away to i would never get get to see them it again thgose hard nights the orchestra of birds early morning breaking into twilight i dont know how much i going to miss about an era which deeply made who i am i dont know why is it so hard, i guess it is best not to think about it but then how many questions, how many situations can I run away from, i dont know if still i am being honest to myself.... there is a bit of sadness and a gloom glooms my heart away... i dont know what to do what to say...

There is the mind and then there are the mindless
there is the time and then are moments which are timeless
there is a price whatever we choose but how could we ever value the priceless
there are the eyes full of dream yet my nights are dreamless
there is the heart full of hope but there are these strands of hopelessness
why everything is filled yet empty, why is there a sweet nectar and the bitter tang
I guess the yin and yang are the eternal pendulum oscillating between rain, sunshine and the winter chills
I know no more yet I have learnt and understood so little...

where

Where are those innocent smiles
where are the moments under the sun
where are the nights under the star lit sky
did i rush and run to forget and miss all of these
where is the moments to stare at the camel in the desert for hours
where are the long walks on the mountain paths where is the fun of discovering a broken chruch in the wild
where are shadows of the sun and leaves playing why dont I see them anymore
where is the beauty where I just dont get to see where is my smile which i have not smiled looking at something simple and beautiful why dont i see the colours anymore why is the sky looking soo depressing to me where is the beauty of the sky under which i live why are there only corners and not the centre of the room why are these edges where i read to fall off where are the paths which inspired to make me see beauty! 

Everyday when dawn brings along the dusk
I feel a part of me which lived died along
there is soo much I meant to today never got done
there was soo much to live when lived along
I wish to smile every moment and absorb time
between today dusk and dawn
as the circle completes I wish to reincarnate from
the fading light into the bright dawn... 

Rain Drops

Tip said to top
as they plop and ptop
from the sky above
why do you fall on her head
and I on her top
that is not fair cause I am tip
and you are top...

Napkin

The Napkin took a nap by her kin
waiting for her king in her nap she dreamed
she dreamed of the king and his kin
coming on a horse trampling and crampling on the grass so green and clean
she smiled and grin only to be woken up to wipe the grim of the face of a mannequin
That's tale of Napkin dreaming of her kin and king of her dreams 

Mr. Nonsense

Nonsense walks around the street with all his sense
sensing the light go red, feeling the urgency which could not rest,
dashing across the street in the moment of heat
jumped over the red light landing on his two feet
and there lives Nonsense in the world of senses

there will lot more many

There will be only as many chances as you want
there will be as many lives as you want to live
there will those many masks you want to wear
there are only those many miles you want to run
there will only as many regrets as you want to pile
but there will be many chances to take
but there will be many roads to travels
but there will be many mountains to climb
but there will be many seas to conquer
but there will be many more imagination to imagined
sadly there is only of "time" we have in our lives
sadly there are thoughts we create to bind
there is a circus of freaks who will juggle and buggle
with my our head and our hearts
there is just one lifetime I dont know how can be it given to one thing
there are many things to do and many things to write
it is an absolute waste to wile it all away life i did till date
to the little dreams and grand memories down the lane ahead
i tell myself today take the ship into the sea
see where the waves lead you
there will be wind and there will be those days of stagnation
but never forget the ship it is just small vessel in the world
not the world... stop this and smile :D

Corner of the room

a thought lies in the corner of the room
it is like the one the million things we dont use but we love to keep
there is this memory in the corner of the room
it lies there wrapped in tears and smiles
there lies on the other end of the room
a self which is devoid of the tears and smiles
there lies these million thoughts as a clouds
yet they are not clouding my mind
am I living or i am just existing
was not this life i was running away from
didn't i want a life to be living not existing
there are these thoughts and memories from the corner of the room
shouting at me where am i where is the beautiful dreams
which i dreamt from this life,
there is ingredients of the perfect life then why i am just breathing
the magic is within but they are trapped in those thought of "being" in the corner of the room
gathering dust those memories are just in the past why arent new memories recreated in this moment
why am i just living like this...
i want to see the sun rather i will see the sun in this cold night
i shall feel the warmth not those thoughts of the past but of now
where is the fire which never got tired
where is the fireplace in the corner of the room which chuckled thoughts and popped new ones out, melted the memories and created new shapes
where is the lil corner of the room where i am me and not this thing i dont like to be
where is the inspiration this is the life i always wanted to live then why i am not living
i want to live and not gather dust i want to run till my heels catches fire
i want to jump so high that i catch the star
i want to lie down under to the open sky and see the fire which ignites my days
yet all i see an empty cold room of shattered thoughts and memories which i am tired off
lets create time, lets make time to be for me not to waste the moment in despair
lets light up the fire with a wood of thoughts and passion of fire....

cant write anymore

The familiar touch of your hand
those beautiful eyes warming up my soul
the soft hug embracing the lost soul
the world transpire to be a warm home for the lost weary traveling soul
for the million thoughts and moments and deaths alone
the dream in my eyes live through the touch
there is hope which i have not seen before
there are the dancing angels and the vanishing devils of the mind
is it love or more?
do I know what I used to know?
These world translate in newer dimension than ever before
there are thoughts there are feeling there is overwhelming
the road ahead becomes warm and the cold past hazy in the fog
the heart in love moves along...

the more I live the more I see the fickle lil mind
the more it wants to play the more it wants to explore
the more I live the more I have to settle
the more I settle the more it is unsettling
the walls are closing in, the thought is windows are shutting out
the more they come closer the more my mind plays
these walls are my imagination but in my imagination there is a bigger imagination of the mind
there is a shit lot of confusion, why are there these walls closing, if at all why are these walls
walls why do we built, to protect, I guess here to constrict our lives I dont know where this goes
may be it is just the shackles of the imagination which imagines the rust, the flavour of bondage, the smell of the rotting skins, are we really tied am I really obligated to the million walls and lines of my mind, but we only understand freedom when we see none, to understand freedom why am I doing this, I am free then why go back to bondage of your mind not others
this sounds funny when i write down...
lets live I am just being stupid :D

random thoughts

Trains of thoughts entangle and grow far apart
so apart that they never seemed know each other
the constant joint and deflect thoughts and emotions
arouse a sense of continuity and disjoints
there is soo much we feel in a moment, the breeze in the air
the sweet smell of nectar, the taste of the morning dew
yet we are so far away from the simpler things
why complicate whenthe moment is simple, why do they touch our heart
and the mind brushes away in a million complications...
here I sit smiling as I ride away in a new thought finding its way... 
 

When efforts don't translate
When words don't say what is meant
When life is less than just breathing in and out
When we are caught up in dilemmas of the past and the present
When the future look bleak plagued with hopelessness
When many-a-things don't make sense
These are the times when the mind wanders in the darkest places
Blows the candles on its way, there is the search for the one light which doesn't blow away
the heart misses that one light and warmth which makes it all right again
why is she far away!?!

conversation with myself...

many thoughts come to my head,
what I have dreamed and dreaded 
what I have hoped and never wished
what I loved and always hated
where I have moved, where I could be
what I could have done and what should be
there is a difference between I am where I could be
there is a wedge between what I think and what I say
what I do and what I care
where is a huge storm in my head whipping up about the life as we see
there is this chase why why am not happy when I won a race
why is there an emptiness within which is eating me away
why do I see a problem where are none
is this mind searching for new problems as it did always
I don't why is there a complication which in the first place shouldn't be there
why I am writing and not just thinking
why I am thinking and just not studying
why I living here and wishing I was not living here
when will there be the warm home in the green mountains and clear blue sky
I want to see my comforting smile living with me in that house
when there will be my cup of tea and I shall smile and read
when there be the bliss of the cigarette I smoked for the first time
when will I hit the high of a lifetime and not care
why do I worry when there is none to worry 
why there is a madness in my world and calmness all around
why is there an impression in my head and others of what is not me
what am I, I am not a puzzle but a case with simple wants
why I convoluting  life when ti simple
I breathe hence I live, I love hence I grow, I study hence I travel
canvas of my life is comfortably a random walk,
but beyond the theory of chaos these are storms which I have whipped
in my head and beyond....
why do people not see the simple me,
I want to cry and laugh, I want to smile and be happy
I want my simple life back, actually I have my simple life back
you dont need goals you need to enjoy life
live and not exists far too long in these million goals some yours some of others
the thing which repulsed you the most you became that
you evaluating rather living
this is not the life you imagined to be
it is the very web you wanted to be away from
life makes sense when you are peace
you are not at peace with your own self
who are you - the earliest memory of you in me
is the man who smiled and played with his imaginary battles
where is the tipu sultan who traveled and conqured
where is the boy which was always special to me
where is the imagination which never knew a bound
why have you bounded yourself soo much that you are even scared to think
you are living you are fighting the lines you have drawn in your mind
lines of evaluation, lines where you could be happy, lines where you should be happy
lets erase these lines lets imagine, lets be with people and see the beauty they offer and not the horrors
where is that little prithijit mukherjee
what did the world do to him
you are away from that world i have little prithi back
i want that smile i want to play football on the terrace of kalkaji apartment
whom i did not judge as i judge today
i should talk infinitely about my head thinks
I should be with people I love and adore
i should stop judging that is what you hated the most when people did that to you
why these infinite assumptions when all it yields is a black box of failure you so loved and cared
you thought you were failure because others thought you were
today you are a success to norms but a failure to yourself if you keep on living like this
Prithi I want that you back, I want that smile, I want that warm person who cared and not questioned
Prithi this is who you always were and you should be always
dont loose yourself we know how beautiful life is when it is you
the sunset finds a meaning so does the sunrise
the days make sense and not pass in a whiff
this is all I want Prithi to be yourself to be the first thought you were
to simple and to be happy!
you dont need the world as dictated by your lines
you need the world to be itself and find the nice place which it always had for you
dont move away from the smile, dont loose yourself in anger
be back away from the shell of lines to living!

Some random thoughts

Our mind eternally waits for the bliss which we never seems to reach,
Our heart wants to see the beauty which is here but stuck in our imagination of the past and the present,
the reality is the beauty which our eyes sees and our skin feels,
it is much like the beauty of music there the dancing imaginary notes is a dance of angels, the skins wakes up to the beats, the tongue taste the sweet nectar...
 the beauty in our lives is what is here now! it is the setting sun, the falling leaves, the changing seasons, the glowing moon, it is the kiss of love, it is freshness of everyday companionship gives up, it is the feeling of longing and belonging which completes us...
 life is not as complicated as our minds makes it to be, it is indeed simple, it what we see not what we want to see, not what we want to hear, in the expectations of ought we miss the music of the presents we forget to sway to the beats, we forget to love and dance with the one we love in the times we love the most!
the present is beauty I wish it never ends!

 

Life

the sprinkle of emotions
the trickles of tears of joy
the dilemma of the leaving and staying back
the sunset and the beautiful dark nights
the moonstruck days and clouded skies
the zing of cinnamon in coffee and the zest of lemon in tea
the faint fragrance of flowers and books
the music of the leaves and song of the rains
there are more and there are less
whatever there are I shall leave it for the rest!

Why do I?

Why do I breathe, every breath is a step closer to death
Why do I walk, when every step is harder than the next
Why do I sleep, when it is a nightmare in which I live
Why do I dream, when they are meant to be shattered
Why do I hope, when they are never meant to be true
Why do I write, when nothing new comes by.............

fire..

run there is a fire
hope, dream, joys desires all in the pyre
there is smoke and haze and I choke
don't know where I am heading,  no where I am heading
There was once the sunny hills which gave me the thrills
today there is only fire, caught up in the pyre...

Wants....

I dont want to complain,
I dont want to crib,
I dont want to blame others for my fallen dreams,
I dont want to claim others as my own,
I dont want to be mean, sarcastic and truculent,
I dont want to be superhero
I dont want to break a yardstick and stick up my ass in the process
I dont want to be someone's unrealised dreams
I dont want to be someone's incomplete memories,

All I want is no false claim of support,
All I want is no false claim of love,
All I want is no false claim of family, relations and emotional taunts,
All I want is to be let alone,
All I want is a comrade to walk by and not raid me,
All I want is to be free,
All I want is not be judged,
All I want is not be interfered,
All I want is a simple desire, a desire just to be me... 

Looking within...

The whole question of purpose of life
is so counter-purposeful if we knew
then why we live to work towards a goal
avoid the zillion question for the validity of that goal
is there really a purpose or just it is make believe
in the system of all lives to be purposeful
to be evaluate in the societal  of successes and failures
the question the obvious seems pretty not so obvious
cause it is evident, never questioned we were born
and then came the goals, goal to stop crying when
parents ask to, to poop in a pot, to learn to walk
to learn to speak, "to do" a zillion before you even have
your first thought, it seems natural as a part of being to do
those who do not do or questions are the hermits and rebels
never a part of the social order
why is it soo criminal not to do, to not a have purpose
why is it soo criminal just to live, not be judged
did someone really choose to fail I hardly believe so
I am not question for I running away from this rat race
but then why this race in the first place
why this purpose when the best moments of life is when
I never had a purpose when I gazed when I wrote
like I write today there is a purpose to challenge probably
writing my shitiest best but then why this purpose
it is baffling to just to see the rush in everyday life the
zillion things around we just lose a grip over ourself
the question what do I want, god knows may be even not he
before I could think of that question I was ticking on the
various "to-do" lists which were set
by the time I thought it was important to love by then
having a partner was a "to-do" Do we really do?
why is infidelity look down upon why does this society wants order
why is there fundamental rights of freedom but no free will
there are million boundaries defined within I am set free,
why is it so absurd to think, I could spend a lifetime travelling
observing, sketching, writing, clicking pictures why I always
think to follow the heart to not being 'responsible' is wrong
is it that inner voice, I do not think so atleast logically
it is my inner voice it should at the least be in confidence to
the inner wants. Or may be doing all of these is just my
illusion of a better me, sitting at the office desk is safe
for me I never have to tread in these new paths for I have done
decently in the "societal" walk of life
everytime I think about a relationship a commitment to myself or to others
I never can commit, why is it binding when I am aware
am in a deeper bind of life that what my dreams would bind
This yet again bring back to the question what is my "purpose"
what is worth a shout? what is worth a rebel? what is worth my time?
why all the value proposition when I am just trying to live today
for tomorrow may or may not knock my doors
may be it is comfortable to blame others and in the hope to find the "answer"
to the ultimate question of life I can vile away time
may be it is time to live, time to stop answering, time to stop questioning
time to feel, I  do not know I hope this stays with me...