just randomly

Time like sand flows away in the idleness of my being

Somewhere is flows to a dimension of dementia of being

Time is like water I want to hold it, but the beauty is not there for it being stuck

but when it flows, when it rains, when it snows.....

It is the air, the breeze, which flows from within to without

is it actually without me, cause it takes a part of me,

I hear nothing but blank noise, is it being lonely or simply being ignorant?

Ignorant of the beauty of silence, there is companionship but silence is it

driving me crazy, I want to speak, but then there is no one to speak to in real

I want to travel, but it is a vacuum I travel with, a vacuum of regrets and of broken dreams

Why can't I let go of these regrets and broken dreams, why is it hard to reset

I took outside, when I should look within, what ever happened now stinks in the

pensive gloom which surrounds me, did I want or I just have it, I know I want it

but I fool myself it has always been, then is it misery which is my mistress, well

it has been a lot of stress

Move move and move, do I really move or it is just I sway but never change an inch

people have come and gone, I know they would come and go, but I don't want to be

stuck in my kingdom of dirt and wearing this crown of broken dreams, this is leading nowhere

I want to revive the old spirit, the smile and never say attitude that I once knew as my life

To be stuck down and to grow out to give a better fight, I want to go back in certain ways and

move ahead in many, I dont want my actions to be fueled by anger and distress but of

hope and not being in despair and hopelessness but of life

I want to be lost in the world which I love, but then not consider the otherside which is full

of grief, do I want grief I know never but then why this fetish, when I am already out, why

I pull back, is it my code of morality, may be it is time to think of "me" and not the universe

it is time to make a change greater than what I have achieved to atleast see the beauty which

I see and forget, to write the beauty which I now cant articulate, to sketch, to read the letters

which touched my heart with soo much pleasure,

I guess it is not worth giving up my pleasure for others to smile, may be I am selfish, may be

ungrateful but some how I feel it is warranted, I do want my life, which should not be the same

I have seen and experienced, to evolve and let others see the beauty of being..... and being me... :)