questions

wait and wait is all i can do and my hands r tied to the ropes of time
time reveals the answer as many have said but the wait for the answer
to the infinite questions with jus randomly pop up and disappear to
random space without a dimension or logical explainations ...........

but this mystery of time and life amazes me every day of my life ...
guess its the fuel of my existence beyond the hopes n desires and
ambitions answer to my infinite questions...these questions insanely
lie the meanin of my existence and essence of my being...the aura of my
existence

happy new year to all
hoping for an amazing
year ahead of u

desert!

in the odd walk of life into the desert of time
the nick of time has got me to the beautiful
emotion of love ..
but sometimes its beyond me to comprehend
the feeling of happiness which love brings in
the silent desert which kills your pace with the
shackles of lonliness and silence...
but in all this happiness and spark of emotions
my mind swiril in confusion the oasis i see in
front may jus be an illusion...or may be i am jus
holdin the sand of time and not realising it flowing
out the more hard i am holding
all this happening in the desert of time and nick
of moments the eyes see the grassland in love but
the dare i have taken too see things big ..but some
where down i have a fear of shattering completly
unknown fact of life n time still amazes in the
walk of life...guess i am the slave of emotions and
my mind..

omethin to me is unacceptable
to my mind but the heart still loves the one it shud)

prithvi--->>>dreamz unlimited..

a part of my human existence rather virtual existence
talks about rather thinks about things beyond things
logic behind the illogical..the love beyond hate...the
existence beyond imagination and hope beyond desire
all of it come to one..to think beyond pain the usual
the thinkable to think the unthinkable to be the god
of all the small things u own and the big things u
destroy .. to be ur truely meant to be and open my mask
of the shades of inhumanity and live in the humane side
of my existence sometime to come think of it .. all this
is so unreal but the reality its what world lacks to realise
for feel the freedom beyond pain to feel the fear the fear
beyond fears and to be himself beyond what the society
demands.. there is a side to my existence which is pure
to what i am which writes what i think and share with one
whom i love so much to the woman of my dreams i am man
so unlimited...this is my dreamz unlimited and fear unthought
this is me unknown to humanity know to whom it matters..

love...it is

from the heart this comes out as the most beautiful feeling of them all....
love it is people...love makes a man a kid...rather has made me me a kid
in the seriousness of my existence taught me back how to smile and most
importantly how to love again...love my friend is the bliss i guess the bliss
of our existence pure and essence of the existence of any human after soo
many years this is so utopic ... i pinch my self make it feel its a reality....
man i am living in a dream...not a night mare any more...and a dream it is
a dream is all i fight for and have fought for when u so close to the dream
its so amazing and when in ur dream its the best...who knows where i end
up...but this time i have to regret loving her...i am happy and thats about
it may be this is love ... all so good...

insane

one word "love" which changes the meaning of our existence..disolve the pains of the heart to joy and make me and many a new man...but that one word,one emotion,one moment...is all the time far from true ... everything is virtual i just exist in virtuality of life ..living in myself what love means what is it... how do i express it ... coz the 3 words makes many hopes and desires if true ... and breaks hearts if played with ... today i stand in many cross road insecured with life and my future.. this is my base where my career gets a push ... but i am alone yet connected to someone in my own thoughts.. the thought that i wont get hurt have brought me into the web of my own illusions...and today i faked the purest emotion to myself..love.. when i faked to me the happiness around or the seeing the beauty in everything it was all normal.. i dont know y i am faking to myself love..when i know there might be or might not be a connection..i fail to understand y i am soo insecured about life and things beyond..y i am scared of happiness y i am scared of smoles and y i am scared of joys... writting odd poetry abt love and beauty as i see them but i know there is a vaccum on my side i cant share it.. my heart has gone cold without the warmth of a hug...my forehead has dried up without a kiss... and my ears lost in the silence of life to hear the 3 words which makes me or breaks me.. my past doesnt leave to haunt me and present is nuthing amazing but i am sick of standing alone... all the words of hope "one day u shall find someone" makes so fucking sense to me this is all fake ... but then i dont have the guts to go and look out for and have to jus wait for someone to find me.. i dont know y i am soo weak here and i break like a glass shatter on a bed of cotton no sound but pure pain.. i am sick of drinking my own tears and feasting in my own pain when i know pain is something which is so not me .. i have lost the will to smile for me the whole fucking life is a fight ... a fight..which i have to win and show it to the world.. it wud have been nicer if i cud show it one and share it all with one but my hard luck doesnt seems to leave or go .. or is it me who makes my own illusions of hard luck my love and my pains and my fake smiles ..... nuthing but sadness haunts me i guess this post doesnt mean much to many but to me it means a huge confession from an idiot who has duped himself and the world in the illusions..god know why the fuck i have brain but no use of it......
(pls dont comment with something i already know actually dont lemme die in my own insanity)

love...

in love again nuthin more or less to say...
with whom the beauty of life...needless to
say one thing that wud never leave u and
go a passing thought passed to no where
in a world where its gonna loose its meaning
but still in my small ways i am happy man
in life when in love something close by
the tears n pain jus seems a de tour to the
bliss of life....

temple of death

sitting in the temple of death the temple
where we worship the dead and free the
moral body to the heaven above,away from
the humanity....
i sat in of those temple ...today everything
was a haze ...the smell of the burning flesh
on the wood and the ingredients of so called
purity ...
the ashes which lie of the mortal body around
i heard the howls of humanity from up close
more for from some one else heart who didnt
matter to me ... but somewhere inside invoked
the thought in my head who mattered but are
gone so far...infinitely stuck in some dimension
of time...
sitting by the temple of thoughts are jus stroming
in my head about life death regret and ifs and buts
...but the answers lies in realisation so unknown to
my mind...questions is again what i am left ......
to which answer are kept in the maze of time....

unknown world

the noise of the silence around me
is getting on my nerves for reasons
so unknown rather know but i wont
accept that the vaccum of my own
life is sucking me away from my
smile from what i am rather what
i used to be ! life is not the same
the bird of my dreams seems to be
in a silent sky .. the world where he
is flying in darkness of time and
vision is lost all insecured in the
lapse of vision....the blindness of
the eyes is just not the eyes but of
the mind ... the closing down of it
to all... dont know why but its closed
to the mankind ... but the silence is
a noise who's pain in the ear cant
be explained in words ... of my small
knowledge of my self... things of
happiness i have left in the fear of
being happy and things of sadness
and pain i have taken guess pain
gave me an identity of sorts which
i realise not true coz my mind can
be in pain but the heart cant the
heart see the beauty in everything
stuck into the mystery of time it
doesnt see the ugliness ..............
the bird of my dreams is stuck in
the duality of my mind and the
duality of the crash of the extremeness
of human existence confused between
the illusion myth and the truth
realively my ways of thinking make
them what they are dont know where
i am guess its true i have lost my way
into an unknown world..........!!!!........

bird

sometimes i dream or rather day dream all the time
about one thing which i envy soo much a bird
flies free without any bound in the deep
blue sky .. wing wide open the fresh breeze gushing
the face the thought of it gives a high of a life time..
i wish i could play with the coulds .. take a bath in the
fountain ... fly to the most beautiful place on earth
to people i wanted to be and to places where i can jus
relax..coz the world would my play ground a game soo
exciting which excitment can never die out i jus wish
i could be a bird.....to whom there is no boundaries
or no distance too long ... life which i can dream of
seeing the land unknown and sleeping in the calmness
of the moon and stars i dream of a bird ...the bird of reality
the bird of my dreams .....

life .. of an unknown

today i dont know why an odd thought passes my head
which talks about the dead and the alive and death in
living through in a each and every day of our existence
which is so true..today when i stand blamed by loads of
people that i killed their dreams .. their happiness a
question arouses in my mind am i so bad??? ??????
guess i am pathetic for the whole humanity around me
to even spit of me and go..coz i am dream killer i kill
people internally i harm them coz not i wanted to but jus
like that may be a mistake ... may be i am mistake
hence all the things follows a bloody mistake in my
existence ... somewhere down i keep people away from
me i wanna save more people coz the sound of the silence
of the death n half dead is eating my existence around
i dont know where i can get some peace in the world
where everyone is a man ready to blame the next for
all the bad i have no one else to blame even coz i stand
alone..in the crowd of millions their tounge so allien
their attitude so unknown god when u made me a mistake
then y did u give me eyes to see this indifference and ear
to hear this unbearable silence ... i am alive coz i am
breathing death wont make a difference but i am stuck
cant any one jus free me out of all thiss....................

a mistake or the most beautiful mistake i made in my life
i loved a woman, a woman who had it all to make it real
long with me in life but i stood a loser..in the making of
things in life..my first love was gone in the turn of a moment
every colour became dull to me .. the blue sky seemed pain
to me..the illusions of happiness changed to nuthing but
lifelessness ... what went wrong i dont know as usual i have
blamed it on her..but now i see my mistakes but i cant love
someone the way i loved her everything about her she wasnt
great for many but amazing for me..she might just another
female for the world but an angel for me...today i just own
nuthing ..nuthing stands mine in the fight of life i have jus
known to be loose jus loose..and jus somewhat survived
somewhat i feel the day of final assault shall be over..
i shall just stand alone..on my death bed and loads of regret
nuthing more i gona take to hell.....................

......

life is taking me to corners unexpected to a high unknown to a low which is unheard.
where i am stuck who knows.. i have forgotten my way in the path of life..confused i
stand..in middle of somewhere which terrain is somewhat familiars and the people
who move are the same everywhere blood sucking motherfuckers.. arounds me ..
but i stand lost in my own world in my own thoughts..where things are hypothetical
and me the paranoid to hunch to everything i have illusions i have .. but my illusion
are true...reality thinking about many say i am mad.. after years of making my blood
getting sucked by these fucker still my blood is warm and the fire of dreams burn in
me ..sometime in disbelief i look at myself ..where was this years back dormant in
fustration ..and intoxication of life today away from it in the high of myself n friendship
i realise something unknown which is the unknown high and low of life... words are not
enuf to explain thoughts are not enough to think .. mind isnt spiked to to do the undone..
i stand here in a nightmare to many but utopia to me... a bliss of life... what a man
has to loose when he has lost everything .. but still i had loads to loose... my dreams...
the world is not a dream world to many but to me it stand a nightmare..but aint nightmares
dreams ...how long people shall fuck me lies a question which swrill my mind coz its only
in matter of time people get even bored of fuckin the same slut or the slut who has being
fucked every hour of the day and every minute of life.. i am waiting for people fustration
and my rise..today i stand on a unusual state when people have believed that this man is
gone nuthing more to suck...but wrong as they r all these years the fire burn and the warmth
which all humanity cant take cause its invisible to many and visible to some who lies close to
my heart.. and have a place can feel the warmth of it.. all though my heart is pretty empty
loads of room lie there.. but i am happy with all i have them inside this heart they only
make it beautiful and the trust of them ignite the dormant and a feature to fight off the world
its my chance to seduce the bitch called life and never fuck her coz i am playin her game on her
today i am the master and i commander...i am the story teller...its my story its my stage the
world just an actor...

((all though this doesnt make much sense if u can make something out of it post a comment))

today somewhat i feel so complete and nice. the turbulance in me have suddenly clamed i have met a new person i.e me a new me.. things seems so clam the feeling after a nice joint .. i having the high of the life by reaching the highest possible happiness of loving myself more than the world.. no regrets stand the wall between me and the rising the sun.. all this is a illusion of mind or truth is something which time shall tell .. dont know when.. but whatever it is i am enjoying it.. hoping after a long time this moments would never end getting the best of mee.......

...

a lot in life goes unsaid and loads of relationships which goes unnamed and thoughts which go a waste.. but in these silence of self .. peace of mind and vaccum of nuthing lies the meaning of life..us and people.. who go unknown n unheard complicated in the uncomplicated life which the bounds set by us the society... i know go unknown in my journey .. meeting people unknowing know and have relationships so simple which becomes hard to realise...this is us me n everyone arnd life is beautiful never brand it to the dogmatism of the thoughts..

numb to voices

the voice of humanity,
the shouts of inhumans
to make their presence felt
to intoxication of which they dont care
but for the heck of it they want prove
the unproven... hidin from things
which doesnt matter lie ignorant to things
i stand with in the crowd a freaking allien to
everything dont get the buzz ...
my ear fall silent n i numb down but
an irritation go down my spine of thinking of
nothing but the meaning in this buzz of voices
what is it stand insecured lostness lonliness
of it... y dont i talk like the others do
y i am lyin silent between the commotion of
others are questions which i have no answer
for........

i am soo dead!

i found my downfall in my glory
i found my loss in victory
i found the fact why i am in pain?
i am not coz the world is after my arse
i am coz i am a stubborn bugger!
my ego took all away from me..!!??!!
my happiness my smiles and my victory
i stand victoriously lost in no where!
i am lost in the middle of somewhere
which i have nt know the way for..
the ego blinded me in my anger and rage
the miles i have walked is a waste
i am tired i am feelin the missing of
my love .. not of life but my best friend
i always was nothing without her..
today when she stands soo far away i can feel
her importance ... today i miss a ear to
tell my heart .. a lap to put my head to rest
and a shoulder to cry... or the pure feeling to
take care of someone.. jus coz of the simple
fact that i love her ... i am missing the innocent
smile .. i hate the devil in me the monster
who doesnt care abt the existence of the
humans arnd but jus itself...
caring for myself i have come soo far from everyone
else when today i turn there is jus a hollow space
and nuthing more...
i am sick of the hollowness of life and
my meaning less existence
my rebel cause is over i am left without a mission
and warrior without a mission is life a arrow
without a fucking target ...
nuthing seems right and nuthing seems wrong
all seems odd and fucked ... dont know when shall
i be out of my own fucking nightmare where
i am creator and i am the suffer i played
my own tricks of vurtuality on me
i showed myself down in pain when there was nuthing
arnd i am the first man who fucking fooled himself
guess i am real idiot for sure..
i dont where to start from where not to ....
to whom say a sorry or to whom to accept back
who was good or who was bad all seems to me
and vague picture of the sand which the water is
washing away... my tear broke my illusion as the
sand caslte are broken by the wave ..
coz all is a dream n in reality i stand in middle
of nowhere.. lost in my ownself my own mistakes
i think of nuthing
some on help my arse out of it my head is jammed!!!

The ride...

When shall I find the right words,
to express my feelings,
to enumerate my worries,
to show my feelings,
to confess my love,
to exuberate my anger,
to hide my weakness,
to shout out my frustration,
to tell my story, which lingers on in my heart,
or is it my head...
aah, the eternal confusion, whether I am controlled by my heart, or my head,
When shall I find the words, to decide,
whether I am indecisive or not.
Tough decision...
When will I find solace in my existence,
when????
When will I find myself useful,
instead of feeling like a fucking rat,
among millions of other rats,
no different...
Am I different?
or god made all of us different,
so that we could do the same things in life,
more or less the same way,
but feeling differently about it??
interesting question...
So, am I different? Are YOU different?
Does it matter whether there is the difference?
When will I find satisfaction in my existence?
Why do I exist?
Are these connected?
Is it all made of the finest silk, but a cobweb nevertheless?
Does it matter?
DOES IT MATTER?????
Does is matter I fell in love with a person so much,
that I gave her up?
Does it matter, that the perfect being is now right in front of me, but am afraid of love???
Does it matter, that life has turned me into a cynic?
Does it matter, that I am taken for a fool?
Does it matter, that this 'poem' actually stinks of utter frustration, and
silent reproach of millions of tears?
Does it matter,
that no matter what,
there is still a glimmer of hope?
After all, in the darkest of rooms,
a single ray of light shines brightest...
Brightest...
Are we all living by default,
one of nature's products??
or do we actually have a purpose,
of our existence?
Is that silent 'purpose' keeping us alive,
inspite of all our negative vagaries?
Does this purpose gives us flashes of hope,
when life is the darkest?
Is that 'purpose', our hope??
I really wonder...
Wonder...
Wonder is what nature is...
It fucks up every creature,
one way or the other...
but no one complains,
except us humans...
Why complain???
No use complaining...
When its happening,
why complain,
and waste my time...
Waste...
I see a whole millieu of humans,
most of them preferring to waste their lives on the streets,
and complaining they don't have anything...
Do I want to become like them?
Or should I DO something about it...
Confusion...
Big time...
So confused, I don't know my left hand from right hand,
Can I ever get rid of it,
or will I just have to live with it,
get used to it,
and then try to forget it.
Can I forget?
They say, time's change, and people change with them,
Do people REALLY change????
In this age, can rotten people ever be not-so-rotten?
In this world, everybody rots...
Rots...
Should I allow myself to rot by asking myself questions,
the answers to which will serve no purpose?
Or will it?
When will I know???
When???
Does any of this actually make any sense???
Is it senseless? or plain nonsense??
I don't care if it makes any sense...Its in my head!!!
Should I care?
Should I care to have the patience, to know whether all this makes any sense at all??
Patience...
When will I have patience?
To buy the time, to know my 'whens'?
Patience is what patient gets...
Patience kills 'When'...
And I...keep on hoping...

hope

wandering on the road on a long moonless night
searching for a light have past the months unknown
where time was one thing which i couldnt keep track
of ...

today i see a light, a ray of hope,its not my illusion
for this time coz this ray is not my lie.. not my cobwebb
the ray is the ray of love for my own soul , the hope
to see a bright new day and where horizon doesnt exist
coz i stand on it all beyond is the beauty i see

happiness holds no bound for me words are something
which i cant place!!!!!

life seems to stop at the thought of her in my mind .. the ears today long to hear her voice and feel the ripples of her laughter in my heart and running a vibe of happiness in my soul... the eyes long to see the smile on her face.. so far from her she just seems to be near around my existence which stands soo worthless without her presence.. guessing someday she shall understand the importance of her laugh her smiles her scolding
and those long talks to eternity .... she knows i am nothing without her but hate is something which can tear the purest of relationship apart today i stand with the memories of the smiles and joy supposin the best days of my existence.. which somewhat i long to forget but simply cant .. hoping a time machine could take me back and i would have jus froze the moment for ever.......