just another fight

Ever since the lucky sperm won the battle its been war for me.
Everyday since then, there has only been points to prove,
checkboxes to be ticked, something or the other to be achieved.

Winners win and loser lose and life continues, holding back my breath,
I dont want to be on either side of the paradigm.....
I am tired all this senseless game what if I did nothing,
I dont know I just want to be content I am sure neither winner nor losing
give me any contentment what so ever... Certainly losing does not

All I hear now is a blank noise of regrets shouting all I have missed, those empty checkboxes and me
Loneliness is a harsh time and without a direction i cant think of anything but sit and cry
tears flow down the cheek even they lose my sight and there is nothing but a vaccum and me

I still dont understand if it is worth the effort, sometimes I did for my parents for they could be proud,
sometime for my silly ego for it could be proud and just feel more superior than others around
never have heard the little voice in me, what it wanted to say and what it wanted to be....
the voice told a lot tales of beauty, horrors and my deepest covered trails

What am I running for, what am I running away, what am I fucking doing... i really have no clue...
dont know what the fuck i am finding, but i am losing and have lost a lot in this find, my sanity, love of people, a friendly smile........