May be this life is not meant for me

I have been thinking this is very unsettling to be feeling settled
There is something disturbing about stability I got used to the constant motion,
The motion kept me alive and breathing and thinking
This stagnation there are no travels there are the same old faces
There are the same issues, the same jokes, the same complains,
what i found in books is to be beyond who i could be everyday discovering something new
what I come back to today is the same good old stagnation there is
excitement in the research i do but what about this life
may be i am meant to be lost, I don't know where is this all playing along
I don't have the tinker worth of curiosity of ending up in someone arms
I guess at some level i have lost faith in people as they were
they are just a bag of fucking pain i need to live with every day
I always wanted to be free what i end up is in shackles in my little world
I want to coup in and be free today lets just be disconnected and curl up in this
this little world which i want to be... :D

Some stuff I thought

The world sways with the gust of wind of time,
some petals fray fighting with constant dismay,
regrets never seem to stay on the other side of the bay,
the waves often bring onshore surprises and coffins from far away,
yet we all said in these infinite seas away from the shores of coffins,
eying horizon and the magical promise land on our imagination's edge,
what I treasure today not the turbulent seas, the thrill of being,
not the monsters of the past popping up miseries,
it is the oasis, the warm kiss of life is what I treasure the most...
But I never want adventures of end, I wish to start every moment
to turn my eyes to a brand new me in this good old world.... 

Am tired of fighting
Am tired of being worried all the time
Am tired of being cautious
Am tired of being me
Am tired of moving target
Am tired of the heat
Am just simply tired and just want to be