the more I live the more I see the fickle lil mind
the more it wants to play the more it wants to explore
the more I live the more I have to settle
the more I settle the more it is unsettling
the walls are closing in, the thought is windows are shutting out
the more they come closer the more my mind plays
these walls are my imagination but in my imagination there is a bigger imagination of the mind
there is a shit lot of confusion, why are there these walls closing, if at all why are these walls
walls why do we built, to protect, I guess here to constrict our lives I dont know where this goes
may be it is just the shackles of the imagination which imagines the rust, the flavour of bondage, the smell of the rotting skins, are we really tied am I really obligated to the million walls and lines of my mind, but we only understand freedom when we see none, to understand freedom why am I doing this, I am free then why go back to bondage of your mind not others
this sounds funny when i write down...
lets live I am just being stupid :D

random thoughts

Trains of thoughts entangle and grow far apart
so apart that they never seemed know each other
the constant joint and deflect thoughts and emotions
arouse a sense of continuity and disjoints
there is soo much we feel in a moment, the breeze in the air
the sweet smell of nectar, the taste of the morning dew
yet we are so far away from the simpler things
why complicate whenthe moment is simple, why do they touch our heart
and the mind brushes away in a million complications...
here I sit smiling as I ride away in a new thought finding its way... 
 

When efforts don't translate
When words don't say what is meant
When life is less than just breathing in and out
When we are caught up in dilemmas of the past and the present
When the future look bleak plagued with hopelessness
When many-a-things don't make sense
These are the times when the mind wanders in the darkest places
Blows the candles on its way, there is the search for the one light which doesn't blow away
the heart misses that one light and warmth which makes it all right again
why is she far away!?!

conversation with myself...

many thoughts come to my head,
what I have dreamed and dreaded 
what I have hoped and never wished
what I loved and always hated
where I have moved, where I could be
what I could have done and what should be
there is a difference between I am where I could be
there is a wedge between what I think and what I say
what I do and what I care
where is a huge storm in my head whipping up about the life as we see
there is this chase why why am not happy when I won a race
why is there an emptiness within which is eating me away
why do I see a problem where are none
is this mind searching for new problems as it did always
I don't why is there a complication which in the first place shouldn't be there
why I am writing and not just thinking
why I am thinking and just not studying
why I living here and wishing I was not living here
when will there be the warm home in the green mountains and clear blue sky
I want to see my comforting smile living with me in that house
when there will be my cup of tea and I shall smile and read
when there be the bliss of the cigarette I smoked for the first time
when will I hit the high of a lifetime and not care
why do I worry when there is none to worry 
why there is a madness in my world and calmness all around
why is there an impression in my head and others of what is not me
what am I, I am not a puzzle but a case with simple wants
why I convoluting  life when ti simple
I breathe hence I live, I love hence I grow, I study hence I travel
canvas of my life is comfortably a random walk,
but beyond the theory of chaos these are storms which I have whipped
in my head and beyond....
why do people not see the simple me,
I want to cry and laugh, I want to smile and be happy
I want my simple life back, actually I have my simple life back
you dont need goals you need to enjoy life
live and not exists far too long in these million goals some yours some of others
the thing which repulsed you the most you became that
you evaluating rather living
this is not the life you imagined to be
it is the very web you wanted to be away from
life makes sense when you are peace
you are not at peace with your own self
who are you - the earliest memory of you in me
is the man who smiled and played with his imaginary battles
where is the tipu sultan who traveled and conqured
where is the boy which was always special to me
where is the imagination which never knew a bound
why have you bounded yourself soo much that you are even scared to think
you are living you are fighting the lines you have drawn in your mind
lines of evaluation, lines where you could be happy, lines where you should be happy
lets erase these lines lets imagine, lets be with people and see the beauty they offer and not the horrors
where is that little prithijit mukherjee
what did the world do to him
you are away from that world i have little prithi back
i want that smile i want to play football on the terrace of kalkaji apartment
whom i did not judge as i judge today
i should talk infinitely about my head thinks
I should be with people I love and adore
i should stop judging that is what you hated the most when people did that to you
why these infinite assumptions when all it yields is a black box of failure you so loved and cared
you thought you were failure because others thought you were
today you are a success to norms but a failure to yourself if you keep on living like this
Prithi I want that you back, I want that smile, I want that warm person who cared and not questioned
Prithi this is who you always were and you should be always
dont loose yourself we know how beautiful life is when it is you
the sunset finds a meaning so does the sunrise
the days make sense and not pass in a whiff
this is all I want Prithi to be yourself to be the first thought you were
to simple and to be happy!
you dont need the world as dictated by your lines
you need the world to be itself and find the nice place which it always had for you
dont move away from the smile, dont loose yourself in anger
be back away from the shell of lines to living!