wondering

sometimes i feel and i wonder and i think .... why cant i be a kid again the world shall be soo different no hurry no competition could have wet my pants and dont have to take the pain to go to the loo.. life is soo simple food is a tear away and loads of people jus for me at my disposal ... i wonder the purity of my mind and thoughts wont have to depends of ciggrates or worry abt being lonely thought seems to be kiddish but i want to be a kid again .....kid coz i am pure and i can make my self up again the way i want to be i am the potter and i am clay... i jus wonder hope n think....

waiting

walking through the jungle of life
through the moonless night and
the pleasent morning things seems
soo worthless to these eyes loneliness
sucks the beauty of life from my head
everything has become life less the
sun rises coz it has to rise ..... the rain
falls coz the sky cant hold it .. the star filled
sky no longer evoke beauty in my mind...
the pattern of my life and beauty in it
has been outshadowed by anger fustration
lonliness and i no longer can bear the pain
of dullness choices seems limited but
the heart is not ... but it cries await the fire
to clear the haze from my mind ....
waiting is all i can do and time is
what i dont have.........................

dont know?

tears trickle when the feeling of emptiness comes into
the insecured soul..the heart and the mind feels the
vaccum which sucks the happiness and joy out of life
all seems soo dull the star studded clear sky...
the rain pouring down hard on a moonless night and
in the haze which it creates all around...spending time
in silence of life.....the reassurance of beauty of life
looses meaning...all this silence has brought me closer
to myself but far away from the world the realilty i belong!
virtuality is my world but the world is of glass shatters
with a small tinkle its balance is my creation..........
where space is none...how long shall i live in duality
of life .. stuck between somewhere in virtuality and
realility....lost into my own lies i have forgotten the truth.
my existence questions existence for the truth without
an answer i stand.... in a world although being mine is
never mine

confusion

lost in a whirpool of confusion of my inner self
my heart sinks into the vast ocean of thoughts
just like a drop of tear which disappearing in
the oceans of emotions.........................

my world turns silent by the outside tubulance and
rush of the whirpool in the haze i miss the calm
star filled night sky like the jewels stuck in the
eternal space of time jus like my dreams so close
yet so far....

question

the fear of things keep moving make me wanna
stop the moments and feel the presence before its
gone forgotten and lost somewhere in the
millions of thoughts of mind so unmindfull in thinking

death,life and things beyond happens coz it has to
just like the seasons change and just as thoughts
of the wandering mind which just sprouts without a reason
there somewhere lies the question why????????

why and why does it have to happen and what
happens after the happenings of life...............
tears and happiness stored for me who makes
it all why and why cant i have all the smiles????

if science and economics say what goes up
has to come down but cant in the highs of life
a man survive ... what is eternal is unknown ....????
unseen and unheard i wanna survive thru the passage of time

a race of time i am stuck into
there is no way out of this maze things
happens coz it has to happen and what i am
left with is questionss.... and questionss.......????.......

to a friend so near yet so far

am here n u no where near things around mellow in the thoughts of the wildness of talks we have.. abt life n things so unimportant to people so ordinary ... the convos... meanin nuthin still mean a lot to me ... dont knw what u think but thoughts r meant to be thoughts and not wasted on the ordinary n so importantly unimportant

bottomless thoughts

seems that things to havent stoped for an era so unknow to me
thought flow as if there is water fallin from a waterfall to
a pool soo deep that.. bottom seems endless .....
the river ahead flows endlessly... into a stream
which has no where to go but flows coz it has too...
in such a pool of endless thoughts n stream of no end
my head sinks in.. findin meanin of the reason of our existence
so odd but not meaning less.. is this existence!!
its thoughts n jus thoughts which bring me closer to the self
which is hides under the turbulance of the waterfall....
yet calm inside.. speaks of a story of the mind n duality
which exist in our existence.......unknow from my soul....