jus randomly

love is not everything but there is nuthing without love...
something i read a long time back but touched my heart
forever ... today in remorse i understand the true meaning
of what it meant..what promises r , y is maturity the word
which take one from one plane to the next of existence in
relationships..

I realise this all but no one to share with all day lost
in my thoughts, caring nuthing much about the world
i sit n wonder n work...an utmost confusion of all times..
sets in but its jus am enjoyin a feeling gone yet i am holding
sometimes i believe i am holding time in my hands...

mad i sound .. may be mad i am crazy insane...be it anything
in the mix of humdrums of my existence of the kid n the man
the materialistic stuff seems soo vague to me , all the intangible
seems all i have...i dont know i am back to the mellow of my existence

i feel the trembles of fustrations and irritations all around
some seem to affect rest jus a passe i wonder i am cold stone again
but this time i can feel my heart beating n i am more alive..may be
in thoughts but somewhat i can feel a change, an infinite influence
of a woman who is there but still not..

thoughts , people and my world .....

utopia of madness

Life goes on like a mechancoly strain,
a tune of silence, a dance of madness ,
a peace so unpeacefull in a time trap
so unknown , words so unheards yet known

In waters of time feels like sands,
in numbness experiencing pain,
painfull yet so comforting,
smiles from a distant seems like an utopian age

utopia is what i am into , the utopia of madness..

sometime i wonder,where i stand,what i am
a structure of mass n bone..who the fuck am i
an insane bastard,who does not know what
he wants from life,or a man who seen a lot
at the age where he should not have,jus that
like being unnaturally rubbed on the paths
of life..love life beyond all seems the same
in the same horizon of thought,to close to
judge the reality,to far to judge illusions,
what i am,a maniac,unsettled is the feeling
i have in the daily affair of life and times..
sometimes scared like a kid,sometimes
brave like a knight,sometimes aggorant like
a fool,what am i ?? is an answer i seek always
but can't seem to find..something which i am
so close to yet unknown,different names
which humanity offered,wondering which to
choose,mad insane arrogant bastard........
in search of answers i stand naked yet
covered in the path of life......

clock of life!

Life goes on in the monotony of time..
like the seconds ticks from 0 to 60..
and back to square...over and over in
the confinement of life..ticking infinitly
calling for the final call..when it comes all
to the stop..the stop of death..

In this monotony of life speed is the illusion
the illusion of excitment all dies in the acceptance
of the reality of the tickin..tick..tick..tick...
wondering today about my existence my time..
looking back..and forward all seems the same..
in the confinment...

In the millions of ticking in the social noise of
the society we tend to engage the minds from
the reality...to the illusions of happiness freedom
and many more utopic thought..and accept the bondage
with a smile....

I wonder why...but i have been asked to do so
made belief this is right...from the time i was born
compensate was the saga taught and bowing to the
insivible energy (god) my religion...

Millions of my questions keep arising and bursting
like bubbles as i tick by..answers are infinite but
truth unheard...in them its jus a condolence given by
myself to me..of the brighter light...illusions of my
life...goes of infinitely

...

hardest times, the sweetest memories
sweetest times, the hardest to forget!
life is not what seemed before
illusions change with the dimension
of life ... happenings in the madness
of time..like the season they go ....
from the coldest of winter sorrows
to the outbreak of the monsoon....
life changes as it has to but the everytime
adding a different memory ...they all
seem the same.. from a bird eyes views..
wish i was a bird...clouds wud be my home
and the lands my playgroud...the air of
time flowing thru my wings like never
before living memories thru the flap
of my wings...time wud have changed..
good bad ugly would seemed different
wished for wings..the flight of the time
the flight of my life....

today in the 4th month of my 20th year on this planet...hit the worst realisation of a life time....a system which prevails the cliche of each one our existence today here in this society...as much u fight out of it ...u end up in it...all the worthless...sweat and tears and blood and agony goes..down in a moment...u end up like everyone...a system of expectation where parents dont care ...where kids are an investment and education premium a system of our society the indian motherfuckin so called family value is the most cliched things i have heard..in a lifetime ...family value is nothing more the net worth in the society monetary which ur face value ... how much the sons and the head earn determines the respect...a fuckin system where money holds high than dreams and aspiration...my friend used called stupid in my worthless attempts to convince the world..i can do things differently...yeah i did differently fucked myself up...a harder way today i lay with my more than ass rammed everything means nuthing to me i dont care ...in the system today i seek for a high payin 6.5lac starting and am ready to kill a man for it...in 20year 4 months i realised the worthless fight...i dont know ...today i more radical than a madman i could jus run...but to where ?????havent we all been running where there is no space left...to jus run...i wana die...i jus wanna die..than to live a life where i couldnt keep my head up...and end up like every other man...i dont stand alone but in a crowd where i dont belong..cost u pay ur dream as they who dare to disbelong

unsaid...

a lot in life goes unsaid and loads of relationships which goes unnamed and thoughts which go a waste.. but in these silence of self .. peace of mind and vaccum of nuthing lies the meaning of life..us and people.. who go unknown n unheard complicated in the uncomplicated life which the bounds set by us the society... i know go unknown in my journey .. meeting people unknowing know and have relationships so simple which becomes hard to realise...this is us me n everyone arnd life is beautiful never brand it to the dogmatism of the thoughts..

wisdom

life...death....breath..everything comes in one string....
a string of thought which goes unthought......
death comes unexpected and life expected.....
birth brings joy sometime i wonder y death bring
sadness..today when i sit beside the thought of my
mortal friend whose immortal soul today is free
i feel..death teaches us about life which cant be
spoken about in the books of wisdom .........
coz the death recollects differently to different
people ... a different meaning...a realisation of the importance
of every breath i take and the every moment spend here
in tears or smile....

all the small anger hate smile seems so trivial to me..
trivial coz i havent grown out of it but understood it
the fact that my friend is gone far away to the infinite
space which my thoughts always thought to imagine
the spark of my imaginations.....still it interest me...
to understand the unthought....

getting answer to some of my million questions and
understand the purpose of life..here i stand in middle
of somewhere in the place of no where thinking of
things and undoing the mysteries of life and beyond..

questions

wait and wait is all i can do and my hands r tied to the ropes of time
time reveals the answer as many have said but the wait for the answer
to the infinite questions with jus randomly pop up and disappear to
random space without a dimension or logical explainations ...........

but this mystery of time and life amazes me every day of my life ...
guess its the fuel of my existence beyond the hopes n desires and
ambitions answer to my infinite questions...these questions insanely
lie the meanin of my existence and essence of my being...the aura of my
existence

happy new year to all
hoping for an amazing
year ahead of u