one word "love" which changes the meaning of our existence..disolve the pains of the heart to joy and make me and many a new man...but that one word,one emotion,one moment...is all the time far from true ... everything is virtual i just exist in virtuality of life ..living in myself what love means what is it... how do i express it ... coz the 3 words makes many hopes and desires if true ... and breaks hearts if played with ... today i stand in many cross road insecured with life and my future.. this is my base where my career gets a push ... but i am alone yet connected to someone in my own thoughts.. the thought that i wont get hurt have brought me into the web of my own illusions...and today i faked the purest emotion to myself..love.. when i faked to me the happiness around or the seeing the beauty in everything it was all normal.. i dont know y i am faking to myself love..when i know there might be or might not be a connection..i fail to understand y i am soo insecured about life and things beyond..y i am scared of happiness y i am scared of smoles and y i am scared of joys... writting odd poetry abt love and beauty as i see them but i know there is a vaccum on my side i cant share it.. my heart has gone cold without the warmth of a hug...my forehead has dried up without a kiss... and my ears lost in the silence of life to hear the 3 words which makes me or breaks me.. my past doesnt leave to haunt me and present is nuthing amazing but i am sick of standing alone... all the words of hope "one day u shall find someone" makes so fucking sense to me this is all fake ... but then i dont have the guts to go and look out for and have to jus wait for someone to find me.. i dont know y i am soo weak here and i break like a glass shatter on a bed of cotton no sound but pure pain.. i am sick of drinking my own tears and feasting in my own pain when i know pain is something which is so not me .. i have lost the will to smile for me the whole fucking life is a fight ... a fight..which i have to win and show it to the world.. it wud have been nicer if i cud show it one and share it all with one but my hard luck doesnt seems to leave or go .. or is it me who makes my own illusions of hard luck my love and my pains and my fake smiles ..... nuthing but sadness haunts me i guess this post doesnt mean much to many but to me it means a huge confession from an idiot who has duped himself and the world in the illusions..god know why the fuck i have brain but no use of it......
(pls dont comment with something i already know actually dont lemme die in my own insanity)
2 comments:
like you said prith..therefore um not commenting..but if you wud believe me on this one...i wud just like to say wat i have said before and shall say again...in this post of urs i c myself as vivdly as you c urself...this is the thing that is common to both of us, and perhaps the only thing common between us...the loneliness..the hurt...the pain, the false smiles..the effort it takes to live wen inside i dont wanna live here...but life shall g on..as u say..and v shall live ..so y not give it another try, dear prithvi ? why not risk to love again ?......
write to me..i dunno ..there's sumthing abt this post of urs...
take care..
i can really connect to what you say...
hey prith doest this line look too cliched??well there can be just one reason for this...life give us pain...our dreams are shattered...then we muster the courage to stand up with a brand new hope...and suddenly we feel everything is going our way...we are then on the heights of ecstasy...then again some disappointment....blah blah!
its a viscious circle...all of us go through...some early....some late...so when we read about somebody else's feelings in some segment of this cyclic process..the first thing that comes to our mind is.."hey i have felt exactly the same!!"
think anout it.
btw...it seems ur busy these days..whassup???
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